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Getting Kids Reading
Now for a juvenile, literary edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! People who are all like “we’ve got to get kids reading!” There’s been ads for James Patterson books on TV, and some recent ones start off...
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Mmmm, Candy Hearts 7
Happy Valentine’s Day! And now, for a candy munching, romance crunching edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! There’s no such thing as the “friend zone”! It’s called… she’s just not into you...
View ArticleWhat You Want
Now for an ageist, condescending edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Anyone who says either “you’re too young to know what you want yet” or “you’re too young to know who you are yet”. Seriously, you just...
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Tanner Upstaged
Now for a feminine pubescent edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Anyone who says anything along the lines of “Girls today are starting puberty at younger ages!” And goes on to treat it like some utter...
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Your Head Is a Stone Tablet
Now for an ancient predictive edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Will you idiots shut up about the Mayans already? Seriously, this is actually worse than the Y2K bullshit. Or that crap from last year...
View ArticleSomething that Matters
Now for a snarky, judgmental edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Every once in a while, I see this image floating around online. It’s a photo of some people at a stadium cheering for their team. And the...
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The PC-Word
Now for an inoffensively offensive edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I am so sick of people complaining about political correctness. No, I don’t mean the people trying to make things more PC. They’re...
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Screen Time
Now for a glowing connected edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Enough! Enough with all the stupid little stats and complaints and lamentations about young people’s “screen time.” In other words, how much...
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Conflict of Interest
Now for an opinionated debatable edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Upton Sinclair said: “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”...
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It Is the Season
Now for a holiday promotional edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! Unless you are currently singing “Deck the Halls”, please stop saying “‘Tis the season!” You sound like a loser. And you probably are one....
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Triggering
Now for a traumatic, censoring edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I want everyone to just stop talking about trigger warnings. Particularly the idea that they’re ruining colleges or something. For one, I...
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Coming and Going
Now for an unfriendly edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I despise the phrase “friends come and go”. I mean, it’s true in general that relationships of any sort are certainly not guaranteed to last...
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Immigrants Aren’t the Problem
Now for a migratory, border wall busting edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! This one is for just about anyone blaming immigrants for, well, anything. We’ve all heard it. “They’re taking our jobs! They’re...
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Somebody’s Talking About It
Now for an insufficiently newsworthy edition of… SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! A form of clickbait that especially irritates me are the articles that feel the need to append something like “and nobody’s talking...
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